he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
