Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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