I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice