What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
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I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
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i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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