Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
