Swine flu. Run for my life!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
