My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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