I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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