is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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