u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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