Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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