if you like me you must not know who I am
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
