3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
zippers are such a cool invention
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
