he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
