how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I bet he comes in French.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
