6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
