hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
