the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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