remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
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I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
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You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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