her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
