there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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