no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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