so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
