dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
