No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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