boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
this will be a night to untag.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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