I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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