Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
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