On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We got so high we made milksteak
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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