i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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