The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
