Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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