Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
