Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
