I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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