that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
