Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
