Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
