Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
