duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
