You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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