The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
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Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
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well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.