Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dating After Heartbreak
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway