I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.