is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now