we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
