How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize