Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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