I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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