Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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