I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
