So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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