Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
