Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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