i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
