I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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