I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
is that a dick in a sweater?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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