Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
