i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
