Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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