just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
