So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
