how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
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my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
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I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
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