I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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