omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
the condom got lost in my hair
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Enjoy the penises
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
