You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
