she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
