Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
